Monday, June 29, 2009


Tomorrow is June 30th, 2009. It marks the date that I will have finally gone to see a foreign country, and i look forward to it with anticipation and worry. I speak Japanese well, I just finished my 3rd year of it in high school, but I worry my application will be poor, as when asked by my english speaking friends and family on how to say something, it can take a bit, my most hated question is the one i hear the most; "Say something cool!", ummmm....okay like what? I know over a hundred verbs, adjectives, 200 kanji, the entire freakin hiragana and katakana alphabets, colors, items of clothing, food, etc etc, and they want me to just blurt out a sentence. Way to put me on the end of the spear. However, this trip to me is a dream. I first heard of it when i was a freshman and cut a deal with my mother that if i stuck with japanese, i could go on the trip. Well, i stuck with it and now i leave tomorrow. I just finished the last of my prep. shopping on Sunday and I am starting to pack but i dont think i am mentally ready. Even right now i am having to drink a pop to settle my stomach, just talking about it gets me nervous. I know im going to do just fine as i am going with 2 friends (both chicks, lets hope they can help get a japanese girlfriend ;D) and combined we know enough Japanese to get us anywhere. Im going with my class, a total of ~20 students from my high school and a nearby one who didnt have enough people alone, we are going to Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto and its going to be fun! We get to do all sorts of things and i am really going to enjoy my first time out of this god forsaken country. Im going to miss my friends and family but thats inevitable, next year i leave for college and start my life. Thinking about that gets me even more worked up....I guess in the back of my mind I know this trip is the start of my adult life and I am not ready because I was never really given the childhood that was considered the norm and idolized on TV when i was little (thanks, Dad!) and because of that my mind still longs for the days of sitting at home playing without worry. I liked my childhood (what i can remember at least..) thanks to my mom, shes been great and i think she made the same realization that i did to, im not longer the kid i was, ive really grown to something that should fill the destiny i dream every night.

Starting off!

Ive started this blog for the simple reason that I honestly need someplace just to put out my random assortments of thoughts, ramblings, events and so forth and god knows my computer doesnt have enough space for all of this so, i created a blog. Dont expect this to get much attention, but for me its a relief, I can write and write without end. To those who do come upon this, my mood affects my writing, at time of writing im at odds end. Its 1 AM Monday the 29th and I leave for Japan tomorrow, a daunting trip that i have been dreaming of for 3 years now when i first heard of the program our school does. However, most of my writing is on the political spectrum as i hate our government and society in general. "He who would be a man would be a nonconformist". I have followed this quote to the tee, I reject our society, our greed, our standings, our government, and our people. We are the United States of America, ruled under the United States of Greed.
Keep in mind i love this country, i just dont like what it stands for.